As I work through some of the recipes and stories for this book, I’ll share some of my progress here. And so – first up is this gorgeous cake for celebrating Medusa’s birthday. The actual story in the book will actually be about one of the snakes who escapes the brutal beheading situation and the years of therapy she seeks following this great trauma. I promise you – it’s a great story.
In many respects, I don’t care about Medusa. I care about the SNAKES! Could you imagine being a lil baby snake with the most beautiful positive attitude about life, but oh no – you’re actually stuck to the head of a monster lady (who – let’s face it – is also probably doing her damn best)? I mean – you think you have problems? Just think about these poor snakes for once in your damn life!
Anyway – we all know that Medusa was born on March 30 and so today is the perfect day to host a Medusa party and serve your guests a Medusa cake.
First you gotta make your Mint Snakes. Here’s your damn recipe.
- 1 stick, room temp butter
- 1/2 cup, gran sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp, mint extract
- 1 1/2 cup, AP flour
- 1 tsp, baking soda
- 1/2 tsp, salt
- snake-color food coloring
- 8oz, choco chips
- Black decorating gel business
Cream your butter and sugar in a damn mixing bowl. Stir in egg and mint extract. Then mix in flour, baking soda, salt and food coloring until everything is like fully mixed – BUT DON’T OVERMIX! Wrap your snake-colored dough in plastic wrap and then pop dough into the fridge to chill for like 30 min.
When dough is chilled, pre-heat the oven to 350. Roll out snake-shaped cookies and pop them onto a parchy-paper-lined baking sheet like 1″ apart from neighboring snakes. Bake for like 10 min or until your snakes look baked.
While your baked snakes cool, melt your choco chips in a flat-bottomed dish. I think just microwaving in 20 second intervals until melted is best here, but do whatever choco melt method you like best. Dip your snakes in the melty chocolate but only so just the bottoms get coated. They still need to have un-coated faces, because that’s where the faces go, dig? Once the chocolate has set up, use your black gel to put faces on your snakes and that’s that!
Did you know that a group of snakes is called a slither? (Technically, it’s also a den, a bed, a ball, a nest and, in the case of rattlesnakes, a rhumba.) So once you have your slither of snakes, find a white cake at the local Piggly Wiggly and pop your slither on the top part, leaving the bottom part for a Medusa face. And now you’re ready to celebrate Medusa’s damn birthday.
I promise I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but if you’re going through all the trouble to make this cake, why not also make snake streamers for the walls and ceilings and hire a snake-wrangler to come by with his snake petting zoo? Invite the neighborhood children to come over in their favorite snake costumes!
And – that’s the end of this dumb blog! Happy Birthday, Medusa!
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