MEXICO CITY RECAP (and some churros)

Hello! Here’s a list!

1. I made some churros today and they were pretty easy. You just boil 1c water + 2.5 tbsp sugar + 2 tbsp veg oil + 1/2 tsp salt. Take boil mix off the stove and then mix in 1 cup flour and stir into a warm-ass ball. The pipe cat-turd sized logs into 375* oil until golden brown. Then coat in a cinnamon sugar mix.

Listen, honey, my oil was too hot so I burned my first few but then I dropped the heat and the rest were (fat Italian chef kiss) perfect. CHURROS!

Ps. I think what I made here was an egg-less choux pastry and I couldn’t be more over the fucking moon. I’m making a courtesan au chocolat here in a few days so this was good practice. 👞👞 CHOUX!

2. Jimmy and I were just in MEXICO DANG CITY LAST WEEKEND (hence the churros). Wow!!!! What a trip! Honey – listen – it was wild.

3. It was hella inexpensive. Our flights were reasonable and our hotel was great and the peso to dollar conversion was hella in our favor. If you’re a Cash-Strapped Starla, fret not. You can have a great Mexican vacation and still have dollars in el banco when you get back.

4. Climate change is real! It was so much warmer than even the Mexicans were expecting, but here’s the tea: they all wore hoodies and puffy coats even though it was mid-80s. The local blood is just thicker there than Ohio blood. They didn’t give a hoot about them warms temps, honey! Meanwhile, they called me Agua Cabeza because my head was so sweat-wet! Honey!

5. Jimmy wanted to visit the León Trotsky house from his old exile days. Boring! But then the Frida Kahlo museum is like four blocks away. Oh HONEY. If you don’t pre-order your tickets, get ready for a v long v unmoving line. We stood in that line like dummies for about 20 minutes and got nowhere, so we cut bait.

BUT! THEN!!! As we were leaving Jimmy went up to the guard and was like “can’t we just visit the gift store”. They were like “si” and let us in in front of everyone and we didn’t have to pay and we basically could’ve just visited the entire museum and no one would’ve cared. Now that’s what I call music 2000.

6. Ugh. So we went to the main cathedral and the in-town Templo Mayor and the Bellas Artes and the Guadalupe cathedral and they were all dry humps. Not one thing was all that interesting.

7. We also took a crazy tour to the Teotihuacán pyramids and that was nuts. First, you’re on MC highways and there are like people walking on the highways. In fact, driving anywhere was insane. So many cars and people and it was really too much, sweetie. Then we get to the pyramids which are massive and steep and there are NO HANDRAILS and you just climb these shits in the middle of the Mexican February mini-heatwave. HONEY. you almost pass out from insanity. And here’s the real pink lemonade – there’s no one selling any water and there’s no beer garden anywhere as far as the ojos can see. This is Roadside Attraction 101, people. Give the fat Americans a cold drink and a sit down! Jeezy Pete!

8. On the last day, we took this incredible bike trip through the Roma, Polanco and Condesa neighborhoods and it was SO CUTE. We stopped along the way at 4 different taquerias and just had a real time of it getting to know all the other cute little Instagram micro-influencers. If you ever think about an MC vacation, do this first because you’ll get such an appreciation for all the neighborhoods and where to get your lunches and rosés the rest of your trip.

9. Last thing I’ll say is TAKE THE SUBWAY. It’s ridiculously cheap and pretty clean and easy to navigate and takes you basically anywhere you need to go. What a delicious surprise that was, honey.

And that’s really it, y’all! I hope you just loved hearing about my dumb trip! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DECIDE TO GO AND I’LL GIVE YOU MY MEXICO BOOK!!!!

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