Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!
Happy Groundhog Day!
Rita and the Skipper are in Costa Rica for the week. JOKE: wouldn’t it be great if there were a coaster store there called COASTER RICA?
Have you all died from laughter-induced internal bleeding?
Jimmy thinks that store should sell margaritas too so it could be called Coaster Rita. Sometimes I want to murder him and then break up with his corpse for trying to pile on to my hilarious jokes. MY JOKES ARE FUNNY ENOUGH AS THEY ARE!
Here are two more things that I’m not crazy about:
1. Cameron and Clare both do this thing where instead of saying “yes! I agree with you”, they say “I don’t disagree”. I don’t disagree = I agree (but also I kind of think you’re an idiot). Oh it makes me so mad.
2. When people post vague bullhonk on their face page or whatever about “big fun things are coming soon” or “send me all the thoughts and prayers for a thing I can’t talk about”. Oh fuck you. Just say whatever the thing is – or just wait until the thing has happened. Teasers are so stupid and I don’t care and I WILL UNFOLLOW YOU AND SPLASH ACID ON YOUR GENITALS.
That said, I’m approaching a real life crossroads that I can’t really talk about at the moment. It’s about 70% terrifying but also not terrifying and maybe could be awesome. I’m splashing acid on my own genitals as we speak because why am ever saying anything? Don’t you wish you had the last 20 seconds of your life back and the brain cells devoted to reading this idiot blog used for more important things like your children’s birthday memories?
Anyway! What I can say is tomorrow is Groundhog Day and I’ve never seen the movie because I thought it looked annoying! But I did just see that Abducted In Plain Sight show on Netflicks and it was INSANE! Here’s the dad who gave gay relations to his DAUGHTER’S KIDNAPPER!
that’s just one tiny spoiler in a 90 minute program full of INSANE NONSENSE!!!! Enid, thank you so much for insisting I watch it. I love this photo so much and it’s the best part of 2019 so far.
Back to the cake real quick – everyone knows that the groundhog’s big shadow situation happens on Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney, right??? You know who knows all about GOBBLERS KNOBBLERS???
That cake is a yellow cake from a dang box with sprinkles to make it a funfetti. And then little cookies. And also I used extra butter in my buttercream and it’s THE BEST BUTTERCREAM I’VE EVER MADE! What a showstopper!!!
Hope y’all are living your best lives!