Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!
Bad news, team. I’m approaching creative burn-out. My brains feel sizzled and I’m running out of interesting thoughts. The flu took me down for about two weeks at the end of December, and I think it drained out all imagination and excitement and focus and interest in much of anything. (NOTE – I got the dang flu shot and it did NOTHING! DANG IT!!!!).
I had some baking time blocked over the weekend and all I came up with were these lame cheese & peanut butter macarons, which were a total rip off of some macarons I had once in Seattle. NOT ORIGINAL! I was thinking about a BBQ sauce / pulled pork macaron, but then my brains barfed and I flushed that idea down the brain toilet. (If you think this is a good idea, please email me some reassuring thoughts. Thanks).
Listen – these macarons were pretty medium. I don’t know that I loved them. BUT – the good news here is that they were baked perfectly with shiny tops and crinkled feet and no sticky bottoms. The key is 4-8-5-2.5-30-20-300. EASY!
That’s 4 oz almond flour, 8 oz powdered sugar, 5 oz egg whites, 2.5 oz gran sugar (then some pinches of salt, flavoring and food coloring) – mixed up to stiff peaks. Then, after squirting blobs on parchy paper, letting these shits rest for 30 minutes and then baking for ~20 min at 300 degrees. IT COULDN’T BE EASIER!
(Brain Idea – I’m going to create some 4-8-5-2.5-30-20-300 merch this week! Am I coming out of my burn-out??? Email me immediately if you’re already in love with this idea for this dumb merch!)
Anyway – Jimmy and I were with my friends Jugdish & Enid in Amish country last weekend and they said that I was really negative. My friend Cameron agrees – they say that I always complain about movies and TV and travel and food and work and driving and MY LIFE. I don’t see it that way – I just have very high standards. Here’s a quick list of things that aren’t impressing me right now:
- That Mrs. Maisel show on Amazon. It’s so boring. Who cares???
- That movie Mary Queen of Scots. GAH – even the gay king subplot wasn’t enough to make that bull-plop interesting.
- Also – that movie The Favourite. Unsatisfying! Where’s my catharsis moment, team???
- Dirty John on the Bravo network. I medium enjoyed the podcast, but the show was really the worst. The totally underused Laine from Gilmore Girls as that dope’s assistant. She’s a national treasure!
- Latrice Royale on Rupaul All Stars 4. She had one really amazing lip sync on Season 4 and seems like a really likable person in real life, but she sure did stink up most of this all star season, and then she starts woo-wooing about how beloved she is and how dare anyone kick her off. NO! She stunk! I have the dang receipts!
- New Years Eves when I’m not in all the soft clothes just sipping on a wine and staying home and asleep by 1030 (maybe 11). I’m frickin 42! Going out is a younger person’s deal! Leave me alone!
- Robert Mueller! Come on! What is taking so long???? More indictments!!!! Don Junior! Don Senior! Do a combo! Hurry up!!!
- Lady Gaga and The Star Is Born. I’M NOT WATCHING THIS MOVIE. I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC ANYMORE!
- My 600 Pound Life on TLC. I’m exhausted watching these people. Like maybe 10% are like good, hard-working people who want to get their shit together. The show should be “Get Rid of Your Dang Enablers” and it should just be me yelling at the enablers to get lost because they’re all crumbums. CRUMBUMS!
Speaking of, since we went to visit Jimmy’s friends in Houston over New Year’s, I had the one dude take us to see Dr. Now’s office. It was the highlight of the whole trip!
Anyway. Feeling pretty terrible. Send so many thoughts & prayers.