Holiday Sweater Ice Cream Sandwiches + Book Update!

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

Y’all. Hello!  Real quick – these are just companion pieces to my jortbread-shortbread / tighty-whitey ice cream sandwiches from earlier this year.  Same basic-b cookie with coffee ice cream on the inside.  And, the chest hair is chocolate shavings and the nipples are pink Nerds.  (tee-hee!)

The only real new news here is this is my first official royal icing experiment.  Oh boy – it was not easy….  First off, there are 7 million ways to make royal icing – sometimes with lemon juice, sometimes with cream of tartar, sometimes with neither….  At the end of the day, the base is really just powdered sugar and egg whites and maybe some water to thin it out.  You just need to block off a lot of time and patience to dick around with it though.  I was doing my first ever icing experimentation last night after three wines and the Charlie Brown Christmas Special was on (so – pretty distracted).

Listen – aside from the Nerd Nipples™, the only other real reason for sharing this out is because I had an epiphany.

EGG WHITES! They’re like everywhere…..

And the origin story of egg whites has never been told.  UNTIL NOW.

I did some research and discovered that the first person to ever discover the magical properties of egg whites was a French chicken farmer named Al Bumen?  He was like “[French groans], mon Cherie amor, I’m sick of zees egg yellows.  I’m only going to use ze egg whites for all mon omelettes from au jourdhui on. [more French groans]”.  He started whipping them up and noticed how all the proteins in the whites foamed up and hugged all the whisked air and created so many exciting air pockets to triple the volume of the whites.  He freaked the fuck out!  He experimented with sugars and flavors and nut powders and temperatures and created so many mousses and meringues and macarons and marshmallows and PAVLOVAS.  Zut alors, y’all!


Anyway – I’m thinking this could be my first ever dang cookbook – All About Egg Whites with Al Bumen!  There’s even a section all about PISCO SOURS!  Yay!!!!

What do you think, team?  Is this a winner or does it stink?  What’s y’all’s favorite egg white recipe????  How stiff are your peaks right now just thinking about it???

Ok – have a blessed day!


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