Honey Mustard & Marshmallow Pretzel Squaresies

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!

Hey y’all!

Well team, I’m having a lay-down on the bed right now and my handsome dog Vito is sniffing my belly button.

That’s where I’m at with this weekend.

Hey, here’s a quick list of other stuff happening right now.

1. What a blue dry-hump that election was. Thank god for those House seats, right? I was just hoping that Beto won and my dang Ohio dems made some money moves. WHERE ARE MY MONEY MOVES???

2. Speaking of god, what about that God Is A Woman song???? It’s on heavy rotation now on the dang radio and I medium love it. I thought this Ariana Grande was more of a Talenta Pequeña, but I WAS DEAD WRONG!

3. My friend Emily says that I’ve been raking leaves all wrong. You’re supposed to mow them, not rake them. EMILY – there’s just too many leaves on the ground to mow! RAKING IS ONLY WAY OUT.

4. I just finished the last Dan Brown davinci code-type book. It’s called Origin, and boy is it a stinker. Spoiler: a computer hired the hit man to kill all the people. It’s the computer! Computers are getting too smart for us and now they’re murdering us. I suppose we deserve it….

5. When I retire, I’m getting a job at Target.

6. Hair update: my barber Chad is gone. That’s why I went to that new barber a few weeks ago and got that awful haircut that I hated. Well – I went to a new guy on Thursday and boy was he a crusty old bitch. I think it was just late and he wanted to go home and take his socks off, but he was real salty. The haircut was so good though so I already made a follow up appt with him. I feel like im close to being an official adult now because I may have found a legit regular barber who I can trust. ALL GROWN UP!!!!

7. ok. I’ve been thinking a lot about rice krispie treats. Obviously you can sub in other cereals and that can be delicious. – or you can add shit to your RKTs. It got me thinking that maybe you could make RKTs out of PRETZELS!


And then you could squirt HONEY MUSTARD into the marshmallows when you melt them down into marshmallow glue.


That way, you’re eating pretzels and mustard but now also have diabetes!


Ugh – I don’t know if any of this shit is helping or not. I had a dream about snakes last night, so I’VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS!


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