Honey Mustard & Marshmallow Pretzel Squaresies

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi!

Hey y’all!

Well team, I’m having a lay-down on the bed right now and my handsome dog Vito is sniffing my belly button.

That’s where I’m at with this weekend.

Hey, here’s a quick list of other stuff happening right now.

1. What a blue dry-hump that election was. Thank god for those House seats, right? I was just hoping that Beto won and my dang Ohio dems made some money moves. WHERE ARE MY MONEY MOVES???

2. Speaking of god, what about that God Is A Woman song???? It’s on heavy rotation now on the dang radio and I medium love it. I thought this Ariana Grande was more of a Talenta Pequeña, but I WAS DEAD WRONG!

3. My friend Emily says that I’ve been raking leaves all wrong. You’re supposed to mow them, not rake them. EMILY – there’s just too many leaves on the ground to mow! RAKING IS ONLY WAY OUT.

4. I just finished the last Dan Brown davinci code-type book. It’s called Origin, and boy is it a stinker. Spoiler: a computer hired the hit man to kill all the people. It’s the computer! Computers are getting too smart for us and now they’re murdering us. I suppose we deserve it….

5. When I retire, I’m getting a job at Target.

6. Hair update: my barber Chad is gone. That’s why I went to that new barber a few weeks ago and got that awful haircut that I hated. Well – I went to a new guy on Thursday and boy was he a crusty old bitch. I think it was just late and he wanted to go home and take his socks off, but he was real salty. The haircut was so good though so I already made a follow up appt with him. I feel like im close to being an official adult now because I may have found a legit regular barber who I can trust. ALL GROWN UP!!!!

7. ok. I’ve been thinking a lot about rice krispie treats. Obviously you can sub in other cereals and that can be delicious. – or you can add shit to your RKTs. It got me thinking that maybe you could make RKTs out of PRETZELS!

🤯

And then you could squirt HONEY MUSTARD into the marshmallows when you melt them down into marshmallow glue.

🤯🤯🤯

That way, you’re eating pretzels and mustard but now also have diabetes!

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Ugh – I don’t know if any of this shit is helping or not. I had a dream about snakes last night, so I’VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS!

Bye!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s